In my experience, I've developed my own set of travel rules:

The later you are for your flight, the further the departure gate.

If you check in two bags simultaneously, when you land, the first bag comes out first, and your second bag comes out...never.

And the longer the flight, the closer you are to a screaming baby.

After all, there's the famous W.C. Fields quote: "There are two kinds of travel, first class and with children."

And so, I was amused to see that Jet Blue and Virgin Voyages have partnered on a child-free vacation package. The upcoming Jet Blue flight requires 18 and older passengers from JFK to Fort Lauderdale, and connects with a Virgin cruise ship that is adults only. No screaming babies.